100% chance of a run

when it's cold, I run a little faster

when it's hot & humid, I run a lot better

I do not "run thru" pain

I do not focus on my breathing (at that point, the run would be over)

I run faster when the music's better... sometimes

I often lose track of where I am

I probably have the music up too loud

I might be a little faster on thursday... I might not. 

and next week, I'll run a little farther.

Last night I took a look at the forecast, as I do.  (Slightly weather obsessed… always have been.  Running really brings it out in me.)  Bad news: cold AND rainy.  ALL.  DAY.  LONG. 

I actually LOVE running in the rain, but I have come to detest the cold.  And when it’s cold on a running day, I tend to complain bitterly.  I check the weather—and if I don’t like the forecast, I’ll consult another source. (last night I had 6 tabs up with weather forecasts from different news sites! six!!)   Then I’ll whine some on Facebook.  Usually I am so excited about my running days I’m just about giddy when I wake up in the morning.  When it’s cold, I have trouble getting out of bed. 

But here’s the thing:  yesterday, my friend Jeremy posted about a frustrating morning, including a flat tire, but how he was also remembering feeling his soon-to-be-newborn baby kick for the first time, and who cares about a flat tire anyway, right?  He said that anytime he was about to post something negative, he was going to post something positive instead.  I did think about that as I got ready to complain publicly about the forecast, and I was gonna whine anyway.  And then Jeremy posted about writing in a journal for his son.  Stopped me in my tracks. 

I’m not gonna lie—I still played the little game with myself where I thought about switching my running days around (because the forecast for the REST of the week is perfect!) but my sweet daughter said, “Mom, you’ll be sorry if you do.”  And let me tell you something, if you think it's a great moment in parenting when your kids take your advice, just wait till the day your kids are giving YOU good advice.  There is nothing better!  

So, I got up this morning, and put on some warm running clothes.  It’s amazing what just getting dressed to run does for my motivation.  I can think about running all day, but when I put on those clothes, my whole mindset changes.  It was still cold out—45 degrees!!  We live in the SOUTH for crying out loud! 

Then, I got some more good advice from my friend, Mick.  We’ve never actually met in real life, but we’re in a running group on Facebook.  He said, “I walk outside and tell myself, ‘it’s not that bad.’”  So I did.  It was still pretty stinkin’ cold, but something about saying “it’s not that bad” is very empowering.  Try it.  Say it out loud.  You’ll be amazed, I promise! 

So, I got myself out the front door, which is always the hardest part.  About 10 steps into my run, I’m not thinking about the weather at all, even if it IS cold and rainy!!  I have run in cold rainy weather before and had one of my best days.  I’ve run in a thunderstorm before, and while it’s not something I’d let my kids do, I really enjoyed it.  Came home with 5lbs of soaking wet clothes and sneakers (yes, I weighed them!) but I enjoyed every step.  As another friend, Joshua, from my Facebook group reminded me this morning, “You'll never regret the run you ran, only the run you didn't!”

And that, my friends, is the truth. 

before...

March 31, 2012

I love this photo, for so many reasons.  I hadn’t seen these ladies in quite a while, and I had missed them.  It was the only night all of our schedules aligned (one of us still couldn’t make it) and they surprised me with an early birthday cake!  We enjoyed pizza, drinks, cake and catching up.  It was such a fun night!!

It was also the night I weighed the most I ever weighed in my life.

So, why do I love the photo?  As I said, there are so many reasons.  These are three of my favorite people.  They are strong women I enjoy and admire.  They are also funny as all get out!  We met because our kids were all involved in high school theatre together.  We became friends because… well, because we just did. 

Our kids were mildy amused when we started making plans together without them.  One of them commented to my daughter, “Do you know our moms are making plans to hang out without us?  It’s like Mom Camp or something.”  The name has stuck.  We’ve seen each other thru sending our kids off to college, for some of us our oldest, others the youngest.  We have met at this pizza place to celebrate after shows, and on a couple of occasions, to have a drink after one of us got a(nother) tattoo!  I have enjoyed getting to know each of them, and treasure their friendship.  

I also love that they surprised me.  I love surprises, and I love chocolate cake, so when the surprise IS chocolate cake, that’s everything.  I love that we’re all smiling and that you can see we were having a great time.  I love that they all have beer and I have wine.  (I’m really not a beer drinker.)  I love the top I’m wearing.  I love that Michelle Obama has the same one (in a smaller size, no doubt!)  I love that the candles on the cake say “39” because my friends know that age is just a number.  And I love that, as big as I was, I was happy!  Not “life is perfect” happy, but more “I have all these amazing people in my life” happy… really, truly happy.  Happy with my friends, happy with my situation, however imperfect, and happy with myself.  Because I believe I had to be there that night in order to get to where I am today. 

But what I love most about this photo is what you can’t see -- the person behind the camera, my daughter. She is the most amazing person, full of energy and drive, one of the hardest working people you’ll ever meet.  She knows no fear, only the challenge of going for whatever she wants. On the way home that night, she said, “Let’s go to the gym tomorrow.”  Thinking about the numbers I had seen on the scale that morning, I said, “sure, let’s go!”  And so we went.  It was great.  It felt good to get moving and fun to do it together.  And when we were done, she said, “let’s try and go every day this month.”  And so we did.  Most days we both went, but she is also a dancer and is in classes or teaching classes every night from about 4-9pm, so some nights she couldn’t make it.  But she got me started, and cheered me on so that even if she couldn’t go, I didn’t want to miss.  She inspired me to start working out, and to keep working out.  And eight months later, I’ve lost 48 lbs. and she is still my favorite cheerleader!

It’s still hard for me to look back at old photos and see where I was.  When I started this journey, I didn’t take a “before” picture.  I probably didn’t want to jinx myself.  I never thought about where I’d end up, I was always just looking at the next step.   But when someone asked, I remembered we had taken a photo that night.   I’m really glad this is my “before” photo, no mirror shot of me in unflattering gym clothes with a sad look on my face.  For me, I could have never taken that first step from a place of self-loathing.  I know now, it had to be from a place of happiness, a place of love, and a place where my best cheerleader was right there to capture the moment.  I am grateful for her every day.  

November 24, 2012