all over the place

“I could go running and racing and dancing and chasing and leaping and bounding hair flying heart pounding and splashing and reeling and finally feeling… now's when my life begins!”

Yeah, that line from my girl, Rapunzel, pretty much describes this past week of training.  Honestly, it’s a fairly accurate picture of any given week in my life, which is why I love Rapunzel—she’s all over the place with energy and excitement about what’s ahead! 

That’s me—all over the place! 

The weekend after finishing the half marathon, I ran an 8K and a really short (1/8 mile) Kilt Run with a friend, and then enjoyed some short easy running days.  Recovering, I was.  Losing focus, I was.   I truly enjoy running, but my life is filled with a wide range of possible distractions and I quickly realised I need a goal, a target to shoot for, or all the other things creep in and take over and I start to get squirrely. 

I really wasn’t sure what I wanted to do next, but going through the mail that piled up while I was out of town, I found this postcard.

I have a bunch of friends who've said they want to start running, so this looked perfect for us.  There are about a dozen of us registered, and everyone is rocking their training!  I’m really looking forward to crossing that finish line with all these amazing women!

  

I was also looking at a few different races trying to decide what was next for me—another half?  a full marathon?  A friend found a Diva Half Marathon in Myrtle Beach that promised to be a fun moms’ weekend, but the timing and travel were going to be tricky for me.  Then, in the midst of this interminable NC winter, we were blessed with a pretty Saturday and my daughter suggested a bike ride.  

I posted this photo on Facebook, and a friend asked if there was a triathlon in my future.  

www.ramblinroseevents.com

My wheels started turning, and within 24 hours, I was registered and studying training plans! 

Then, I came across this:

I love the medal, I love that is says “Raleigh Rocks,” the timing works well with my triathlon, it’s local, and a friend’s band is going to playing along the race route.  Could it BE any more perfect??? 

So, yes, 3 events happening in the next several weeks.  Overlapping training schedules, and just to keep it interesting, let’s throw in some swimming and biking.  Crazy!  Just the way I like it!

This was last week’s challenge:

Triathlon Training

swim 55 minutes (25 + 30)

bike 75 minutes (30 + 45)

run 55 minutes (25 + 30)

one day= swim 25, bike 30,

two rest days

PLUS, Half Marathon Training

long run = 14 miles (before I start to taper)

Triathlon training calls for one swim/bike day.  I also did a run/bike day so that I could do my long run on its own, and have two rest days afterward.  It made for a crazy week for me, taking off Wednesday and Thursday.  I usually get a little nuts after one day of not running, but that 14 mile run was clearly the mega-dose of vitamin D (it was an absolutely gorgeous day!) and endorphins I needed to survive a mid-week 2-day rest.  I also do some kind of yoga every day—either an hour-long class or just 20 minutes at home. 

It was all good until Friday. I had coffee with a dear friend. She’s a teacher at a year-round school, and I only get to see her 4 times a year—during her school breaks.  Coffee lasted 6 hours.  (no joke)  It was lovely.  It was also a really chilly day, and when I started thinking about running, I also started negotiating with myself.  This is what I do when it’s cold.  I come up with all sorts of very reasonable arguments and alternate running plans.  But on a Friday afternoon, when I still had some swimming and biking to fit in, there was no time for Plan B.  (And the forecast for the weekend wasn’t promising, either!)

Some days, I need to put my inner voice on mute, lace up my shoes, put in my headphones and GO. 

As I was negotiating with myself, I thought about January, and how happy I would have been to run on a 50 degree day in January.  This particular January, I would have been happy just to be able to get out and run, regardless of the weather.  I missed a lot of running days in January.  But I didn’t have to miss this day.  I went, and I’m so glad I did.  Because as it turned out, it was beautiful.

would you rather? (runner's edition)

Have you ever played this game?

We are major board game fans here, and when I saw this post today over at Olive to Run, I was excited to play along! 

The Questions:


1. Would you rather run a 5k or a marathon?

I have to cheat and say half marathon.  I do enjoy running 5Ks, but my thing is distance.  I’m not fast, but at the right pace with the right rhythm, some days I feel like I could run forever.  I haven’t actually done a marathon (yet) so I don’t know for sure… 
I might hate it.  
It’s not likely.  
I’ll find out in January… maybe even before then. 

 

2. Would you rather run in the heat of summer or the icy winter?


Heat of summer, no contest.  I’ll take hot, humid, even a thunderstorm any day.  This first winter of running for me has been the coldest, nastiest one I can remember here.  If it wasn’t bad enough here, I spent most weekends in January and February in cold cities like New York, Syracuse, and Chicago.  Even had to make peace with the treadmill.  
I will be so happy to see it warm up, if it ever does.  
The groundhog and I are not on good terms at the moment. 

3. Would you rather have new running shoes or a new running outfit?


A new outfit.  I get very attached to my sneakers, and hate to even think about replacing them.  But I’m always ready for a cute new Running Skirt! 

4. Would you rather run alone or in a group?


Alone. 

I love people and love to be around people more than anything.  There is nothing better than sitting and chatting with a friend—I could do that for HOURS and often do.  I love human interaction, crave it some days.  If given the choice, I’d usually choose being with people over being alone.  

But when I run, I run alone.  I like to go at my own pace, listen to music, stop to take pictures when I want to stop to take pictures, and run longer just because I feel like it. 
I do enjoy running with friends, but in my mind it’s really a “visit” and I’ll do my training run another time.  
Alone.

5. Would you rather run next to someone in a race who tries to talk to you constantly or someone who breathes heavy and grunts?


I’ll take the talker!  (see number 4, above.)  As long as they don’t mind if I mostly listen, I don’t mind if they talk.  Frankly, someone who loves to talk, I imagine we’d become fast friends.
 

6. Would you rather run a race because of the convenience (location, price, travel) or the swag?


In real life, convenience.  It’s hard for me to travel for a race with all the other things I’m juggling.  But I won’t lie… I love an awesome medal, and plan to finish ALL of the Disney races!

7. Would you rather run a race with a group of friends or by yourself?


With friends.  When I train, I prefer to run alone.  But on race day, it’s all for fun.  I’ll never set records, so as long as the group of friends is of the same mindset—in it for the joy of the experience—I’d much rather run with a group and enjoy it together!

8. Would you rather run a PR but result in an injury or finish strong and missing a PR?


Definitely finish strong.  Don’t care much about PRs, but I’ve been injured once and don’t care to go thru that process again if I can avoid it. 

9. Would you rather eat a big meal the night before or a big meal after a race?


The night before.  I usually run best on an empty stomach, not much of a breakfast person. When I finished my first half, I thought I wanted food, but after half a banana, I realised what I really wanted was just a hot shower!! 
  

10. Would you rather be chased by a swarm of bees or a pack of dogs?

Seriously??  I’m going to say bees, and I’m allergic to bees!  But I think the dogs could do a lot more damage, and I might have a shot at evading the bees, or at least running to the nearest dose of Benadryl!

What would YOU rather do?

Choose one, two, three, or all and share your would you rather.

choose happy

If I could give everyone one bit of advice about starting any kind of fitness routine, it would be this: do something that makes you happy! 

I’m not kidding.  I know everyone has different opinions on things like this, and this is just mine.  I’m not qualified to give medical advice, but other than talking to a doctor, I think this is the most important thing you can do to put yourself on a path to success.

I am not a “run through pain” kind of girl.   Never have been.  And I didn’t start this whole journey by lacing up my running shoes and running a 5K.  FAR FROM IT!  If I had, this whole deal would have been over LONG ago.  As a matter of fact, I only started working out because I needed to lose some weight (OK, a LOT of weight) and I can’t stand to diet!!  But before I even started working out, I had to get myself to a place where I could just make time to do something every day—something for me. 

I started out walking.  One mile a day with my kids. (sometimes more, but most days, just one was all we could squeeze in.)  I didn’t have grand visions or plans, I was just trying to do something EVERY day.  My goal wasn’t to lose weight or get in shape, it was consistency.  Some days it was a struggle to find time, some days it was cold, or rainy, and a couple of days there were even TORNADO warnings (hello, NC in springtime)  We called them “tomato warnings,” we laughed, and we walked anyway. And we’re always busy and on different schedules, but we stuck with it, and after 4 months, while I didn’t lose a single pound (in fact, I gained more weight!) it was a great “exercise” in making a plan and sticking to it!  It was also an experience in feeling good about doing something just because I said I was going to do it.  It was nice to be outside every day, it was good to be moving every day—neither of these things were part of my routine at the time.   And I got a TON of positive feedback from friends on Facebook! 

I’ll tell you this:  if you want to make a change in your life, announce it on Facebook.   Then, when you’re having a bad day and think about giving up, you also have to think about all those people who cheered you on, and know they’ll know you’re giving up.   If you’re like me, that’ll be enough to keep you going. 

It may sound silly or too simple, but all that positive feedback – first from others and eventually in my own head - was the first piece of the puzzle for me.  From there, I had just enough momentum to get myself into the gym.  And I didn’t start out with weights or in yoga class.  It was blinders on, straight to the elliptical, the only thing I knew how to do.  It had taken me a while, but I got to where I could last an hour on one (it doesn’t happen overnight, but I kept at it every day, just 5 minutes, then 15, then 30… ).  It does happen a lot faster than you’d think.   I did nothing but that elliptical for 4 and a half months.  And I didn’t love it at first—you’d see me, on that elliptical, watching Food Network, checking Facebook, texting friends, anything to keep my brain happy while my body worked.  Over time, I got to where I loved the feeling of working hard and sweating, and all I needed was music to keep me motivated and happy, but it took TIME for me to get to that point.  In the process, I lost 25 lbs. and that’s about when I started running. 

Even when I started running, it was going to be a “one-time” thing, just to get me through a day in NYC where I had no access to a gym.  I was just looking for a one-hour work out, something more challenging than a walk.  Just for that one day, nothing more.  And just to do that, I needed EXTENSIVE instructions on how I was going to do it, what I’d be thinking about, how I’d make it a whole hour.  I’m talking PAGES of Facebook messages from a very patient friend.  It took me an hour to run/walk 3.5 miles, and it never occurred to me that I’d start running.  It never occurred to me that I’d fall in love with it. 

After I started running, a friend suggested we run 5K.  Ask anyone I talked to back then—it was like I was training for a marathon—I was just that anxious about the whole thing!  I look back now and laugh, but I remember being terrified and worried about every little detail.   I remember a friend who runs marathons saying, “Oh, I love 5Ks, that’s such a fun distance.”  I could not even wrap my brain around that statement.  I was worried about where I was going to stretch, should I “taper” before the race, (I couldn’t even bring myself to call it a “race” back then!!! and taper… if you’re a runner, just try not to laugh..), what if it rained that day, what if they wouldn’t let me use my headphones, what was the crowd going to be like… (600 runners.  At my first half marathon, there were over 20,000…) But I ran with a good friend, which made it FUN!    

A couple weeks after that first 5K, I signed up for a half marathon.  And that’s when I had to change my training plan.  No more elliptical trainer between running days.  So I tried yoga.  Let me just say, for the record, if I was “not a runner”, I was even less a yoga person!  But I wanted something to do on my non-running days, and by now (this was November—11 months into this journey, 7 months of regular workouts, and 45 lbs. lost)  I was feeling much more confident about a lot of things…  Not that I was good at it—I wasn’t.  But I was in a much better place to laugh at myself.  And I had spent the last 11 months realising that I was good at some things, even if I wasn’t good at everything.  That first class, I amused myself (and some others, although there are those who are pretty serious about their yoga… I had to get it together!)  I was the clueless one in class.  But every week I came back, I got a little better.  And eventually, more new people showed up,  and after a while I wasn’t the most awkward person in the room.  In fact, while I’m not naturally very flexible, I’ve got excellent balance—better than the regular instructor.   I’ve gotten better since then, although I still have to work at anything that requires flexibility in my hips or hamstrings.  But I’m a LOT more flexible than I was just a few months ago, and tonight, I got to class a little late and happily took the spot in the front of the room (you know, the one no one else wanted). 

My point in all of this—if you’re in an exercise class and you’re just spending the whole time feeling awful, quit going.  If you’re running and you hate it, stop running.  If you’re lifting weights and it bores you, try something else.  Find something that brings you joy, and makes you happy where YOU are now.  You won’t always be where you are now, but you won’t get anywhere making yourself miserable.  I don’t believe in suffering.  You’ve got to know what makes you happy, what motivates you, what will make you want to keep coming back.  And you don’t have to do everything at once.  Find one thing.  And later you can find some other things.  Just make sure that whatever you’re doing, it’s something that makes you smile.  Otherswise, what’s the point?  

(and if there’s anything I can do to help you find a place to start, please let me know in the comments!)

pool running... who knew??

As many of you know, I was sidelined about a month ago after a running accident.  (I ran into a moving SUV, which is a whole ‘nother long story.)   I got through it with mostly scrapes and bruises, a black eye, a broken little toe that healed in just a few days, a sore and very weak right arm, and a bruised and swollen right foot.  After multiple xrays, the doctor confirmed no broken bones and said I could put weight on my foot just as soon as it was comfortable to do so, and sent me home with an air cast.  I was able to walk a (very slow!) mile again with my kids, and get out of the house some – HELLO STARBUCKS!   I was so happy to be free of crutches, but it wasn’t long before my knee began to protest, and I was afraid walking on the air cast might mean a knee injury that wasn’t part of the original package.

Of course, I was grateful my injuries weren’t worse, but within days I started getting restless.  In addition to all the things piling up undone around me, I was really getting discouraged about my prospects for running the Walt Disney World Princess Half Marathon on February 24^th.  I had been training for it since November, and had gotten up to 10.5 miles just before the accident.  Now, here I was, stuck on the sofa.  Not a pretty picture. 

Everyone was offering suggestions (because, did I mention?  not a pretty picture!)   A friend sent links and videos of exercises I could do on crutches. The problem was, almost any alternate exercise would involve use of my upper body, and I couldn’t put any weight on my right arm.  My daughter mentioned swimming, but as swollen and sore as my foot was, I couldn’t imagine trying to kick.  My sweet sister typed up portions from a running book of hers with information on returning to training after an injury.  I found that just about every article related to running after an injury assumes your injury was caused by running, so the focus is on correcting what you were doing to cause the injury.  OK.  Quit running into moving vehicles.  Check.  (My witty daughter was quick to point out, “you were injured while you were running, so technically, it IS a running injury.”)   Somehow, as I was processing all of these possibilities, with the help of the miracle that is Google, I came across the term “pool running.”  I was intrigued…

To be honest, the first time I ran in the pool, it took me all day to work up the courage just to try it.  I was so afraid I might not be able to do it and that I’d just come home even more discouraged.  I read several articles online and watched videos on YouTube.  It turns out, this is a practice that was originally developed for injured horses, and someone brilliant said, “why not people?”  The basic idea is that you’re upright in water deep enough that you don’t touch bottom, and you basically run in place, holding your ankle in a neutral position.  Kind of like stomping grapes. 

Ideally, you really need one of these:

I’m lucky that they have them to borrow at my gym. 

Yes, it looks just about as ridiculous and awkward as it sounds, especially the first time when I was figuring things out.  There’s not a lot of interesting scenery, and I can’t have my playlist as a distraction.  

But I did it.   For 45 minutes. 

And it.  was.  AWESOME! 

The pool at my gym isn’t very deep, so I can only do about 1/3 of a lap before I have to turn around.  I did some laps with water weights, which allowed me to work in slightly shallower water (and do longer laps), helped to strengthen my injured right arm, and just broke the monotony a bit. I didn’t really count laps, just timed how long it took to complete one, and then tried to see if I could do the next one a little faster.  My half marathon training scheduled called for a 30-45 minute run twice a week, so I figured if I could run for 45-60 minutes in the pool, that would be a pretty good substitute.

I also found it helpful to "run in place."  I put my hands flat against the wall of the pool (also helpful in increasing range of motion in my injured wrist) and ran/stomped in place.  I found I could do this at a much faster cadence (since I didn’t have to worry about drifting into lane ropes) and it was much easier to maintain good form.  It was also very soothing to my knee, which had become sore from the unnatural motion of walking in an air cast.  It was really such a relief, like I could hear my knee saying, “Yes!  THIS is how I’m supposed to be moving!!”   At first, I could only do it for a minute to two, but worked up to 5-7 minutes.  It was kind of like doing intervals when I run.  I do about 10 minutes of “laps” which are less intense, and work my core and upper body.  Then I do about 5 minutes in place, alternating laps and running in place for about an hour. 

I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV (I know, that’s only funny if you’re older…)  I am in no way qualified to give medical advice, but if you are struggling with an interruption in your training due to an injury, talk to your doctor or physical therapist about exercises you can do in a pool.  I have been amazed at how many things I have been able to do in the water, comfortably and without risk of further injury.   In a pool, you’re only about 40% of your weight on land, which helped me to gently start putting weight on my injured foot (with the green light from my doctor!)  I could stretch and move my knee with a much move controlled and fluid motion than I could manage on dry land.  Even moving my arm was easier and less painful in the water, and working with the water weights helped me regain strength a little each day. 

Pool running is actually considered by many to be excellent cross training for runners (slightly different form if you’re not dealing with an injury) and for me, it was a huge boost for my mental state.  I had no idea how long it would be before I could get back to running outside, but running in the pool allowed me to get a good cardio workout, which I need just to keep myself balanced, and also kept me hopeful about maintaining my fitness level until I was ready to run.  I was able to get my foot,  ankle and toes moving much sooner in the water, and soon had the strength (and courage) to try a stationary bike, elliptical trainer and then a treadmill.  And, to be honest, it was just nice to be able to get back to my routine of going to the gym sooner rather than later.  Because anyone who knows me will tell you, I’m a much saner person when I can work out.  

consistency is key

I’m not a huge fan of New Years’ resolutions, especially the ones that begin, "Stop…[insert "bad" habit here]."  I don’t respond well to negatives, especially restrictions.  But I am ALL about doing things, and I’ve found I’m more inclined to be successful if I give myself something constructive to do, to strive for, to accomplish.  

I am also a compulsive list-maker.  Any given day, I’ve got a list longer than I could ever hope to finish in 24 hours.  Sometimes it’s frustrating, because I really “need” to get all of those things done… yesterday!  Most of the time, I'm realistic enough to know that I won’t get to all of it, but making the list is my best bet to make sure things actually happen at some point.  I’ve made peace with the fact that I’ll probably be working off of Monday’s list when Friday rolls around, and I still won’t finish all of it.  

Looking forward to 2013, I’m making myself yet another list.  Not a list of resolutions, but a list of goals.  Things I plan to do, to strive for, to accomplish.  It’s a fairly long list, and I’m not even done yet.  Some things will just take a few minutes on the right day, others will take some further research and maybe months to accomplish.  I’m not sure if I’ll finish the whole list, but I’m definitely going to try.   

The thing I haven’t decided on yet is the one thing I’ll be doing every day next year.  Last year it was walking at least a mile every day.  It seemed like a small thing, and I really had no idea where doing that one small thing would take me, but it turns out, it was huge.  I realised the significance of committing to doing something every single day, no exceptions, no excuses.  I had no expectations about what I hoped to gain, just the satisfaction of doing it, nothing more.  

What I learned is that there is power in consistency.  Every day might not be magic.  Every day might not be your personal best.  Some days you might not be feeling it.  But you keep showing up, day after day, no matter what obstacles life throws your way.  You start every day with a plan.  If you get thrown off track, you improvise as needed, but you never quit.  You find a way.  Every day you’re one step closer to your goal, even if it’s only a small step.  And every day you honor that commitment you made to yourself, you’re even more likely to follow through with it the next day. 

How about you?  Do you make resolutions or lists?  Is there something you'll commit to doing every day of 2013?  If it’s fitness-related, awesome.  But honestly, ANYthing you can commit to doing every day will bring benefits that will impact every area of your life in some way.  Be realistic, keep it simple.  Choose something that you KNOW you can accomplish, because the consistency will be the challenge, not the act itself.  Let’s face it, almost anyone can walk a mile.  But doing it every single day for a year, that’s where commitment kicks in.  If you can’t think of anything else, how about walking a mile?  

You can do it, believe me!  

day one.

Here’s where I am this week: the house is a wreck, we are behind in school work, nothing is ready for Christmas—no goodies baked, no presents bought much less wrapped, no cards ready… and I’ve had 3 sick kids and stuff going on every night of the week.  Today is the first “free” day I’ve had in a while, so everything needs to happen today!  (and here I sit writing)  

If you are reading this and thinking you want to make a change, feel better, start moving, the day to do that is today.  Not on Monday, not after the holidays, not when life settles down.  Today.  

And I’m not saying you need to start training for a marathon or even start running today.  But do something.  Today.  And tomorrow.  And every day after that.  

When I started this journey, I had no idea I’d eventually decide to train for a half marathon.  When I started this journey, I didn’t even know I was starting it!  I saw a post on Facebook by a friend who had run at least a mile every day last year.  I thought that sounded like a cool thing to do.  So on New Year’s Eve, my daughter and I went out and ran a mile.  It was awful.  We decided NEVER to do that again.  We decided to walk a mile (or more) every day instead.  And we did.  

It started out simply enough.  One mile.  Up to the front of the neighborhood and back is just slightly more than one mile.  It was Christmas break, so it was fun to get out every day.  Then school started back up, and we took my oldest back to college.  We walked our miles on Broadway, Columbus, and 8^th Avenue.  We walked in the cold, and looked forward to summer.  We tried to avoid it, but some days we had to take an umbrella and walk in the rain.  We walked on the busiest of days, sometimes just before we were ready to collapse.  Occasionally, one of us had fallen asleep and had to be wakened to walk.  Our latest walk was 4am after a cast party this summer.  Our rule is, as long as one of us is still awake, it counts as that day’s walk, even if it’s after midnight.

It’s not a killer workout.  It only takes about 20 minutes to walk a mile, maybe a little less if you’re fast.  (We usually are not.)  You probably won’t lose any weight just walking a mile a day.  I didn’t.  I actually gained weight the first 3 months!  But I also gained that habit.  The habit of moving, of doing something every day, of finding a time to walk.  And there is something to be said for being outdoors every single day of the year for 20 minutes.  It makes you look at things differently and appreciate a lot you might be missing.  Sights, sounds, smells… and for me, that time with my kids, which is priceless.  It’ll help you appreciate where you live.  

We posted a photo on Facebook every day.  I’m sure there are those who are tired of looking at us.  Believe me, there are days we’re tired of taking that photo.  I joke that we could have a reality show just based on the nonsense that goes into taking that photo every day.  Arguing, blurry photos, bad hair, and so much silliness!  I recommend it.  It’s fun, and it will keep you honest!  

Go walk a mile.  Find a route that starts at your front door, go about half a mile and turn around.  It couldn’t be any easier.  Like I said, it takes about 20 minutes, so if you’re not sure about the distance, just go walk for about 10 minutes, then walk back.  Drive it in your car later and adjust your distance if need be.  Keep it simple.  Just GO! 

Do it today, and tomorrow and every day after that.  I promise you will notice a change.  Eventually, you’ll probably want to do more.  Maybe run, maybe lift weights, try a yoga class or swim.  But don’t worry about any of that right now.  It’s a busy time of year and you need to set yourself up for success.  And you need to do it now! 

I can’t tell you where your journey will take you, but I can promise you that every day you DO something, you’ll be that much closer to getting there.  You don’t need to wait for the perfect circumstances, you don’t need to join a gym or buy new shoes or map out exactly one mile.  Step out in faith that what you do will be the first step, and it will make a difference.  Maybe you will join a gym, or get some great new shoes…  or maybe, like me, you’ll spend 3 months just walking a mile and realising how great it feels to decide to do something every day and then DO it!  And after that, who knows?  The sky’s the limit.  

It all starts with the first step.  Today is Day One.  

What are you going to do? 

hopeful.

Every day, it seems there’s some kind of obstacle I have to get over, through or around before I can work out.  Lately, I’ve been up against the weather forecast.  Most days it’s my crazy schedule.  Every day, it comes down to mental preparation.  And I’m not talking about preparation for a workout, steeling myself for feats of strength or anything like that.  Most days, I’m talking simple logistics.  

Homeschooling three kids who are actively involved in musical theatre makes for a pretty interesting schedule, and I wasn’t in any kind of exercise habit when I started.  It’s a 20 minute drive to the gym, so I had to find more than 2 hours each day (drive time, hour workout, shower, and drying my hair, which is a whole ordeal unto itself!)  Then there were the details—where did I leave my sneakers?  do I have everything I need?  water, my gym ID, headphones (for listening to the built-in TV on the elliptical), phone (for checking Facebook).  I have forgotten all of these things (except the phone) at least once.  (yes, even my shoes.  I wouldn’t recommend it on a regular basis, but you can get thru and hour on the elliptical in a pair of Toms.)   I learned that they can look me up if I forget my ID, they sell water bottles in the vending machine, and there’s usually decent music playing in the gym if I forget my headphones.    I actually made myself this “chant” to remind myself: “phone, headphones, keys, ID, waterbottle” and got a wallet that will hold my ID, headphones, phone, and a few extra hair ties.  Sounds trivial, but the devil is in the details and the best defense is truly a good offense.  

Last week, I got to a place where I was really struggling.  I usually try to stay focused on the positive, but if I told you all the things that happened in the last month, you’d be horrified.  The thing is, I don’t see it as my place to horrify anyone, so I tend to keep a lot to myself.  I had hit a point where I was just completely overwhelmed with it all.  I was tired of fighting to see the bright side of everything.  I had just lost one of the most influential people in my life, someone who embodied what it was to be an awesome mom, and I was done putting on a brave face. 

I knew it was bad when I wasn’t even looking forward to running.  That was incredibly sad for me, because when it’s a running day, I wake up looking forward to it.  But this running day, I was almost afraid to go.  I really didn’t want to run feeling sad, and I couldn’t seem to make it stop.  Fortunately, I am surrounded by some amazing friends.  This particular day, it was Daniel who managed to make me laugh a little, and, as he always does, shared some encouraging words.  It was just enough to get me to lace up my sneakers.  I can’t say I felt better, but I was determined to run.  

And that run was perfect.  I didn’t think about all that was weighing on me.  I really didn’t want to be sad when I was running.   When I run, I don’t tend to think about my life, anyway.  I like to turn up the music and get lost in the lyrics on my playlist.  And that’s exactly what I did.  The weather was nice, and I was feeling better running at a slower pace (after weeks of working up to running 5 miles, now training for a half marathon, my challenge is to slow down!)  I was comfortable the whole 6 miles, and felt like I could have run a little farther, which is my favorite way to finish.  I even got to see these two sweet girls who live on my running route… twice! (because I run by their house twice).   They are the cutest little girls, the “Sophia Grace & Rosie” of the south!  Any time I run and they’re out, they run their cul de sac with me, laughing and talking the whole way!   

When I finished running, I still had a little way to walk home.  As I walked, I realised something:  life is far from perfect, but I’m OK with that.  I can’t fix everything, and there’s a lot beyond my control.  But it’s not like I’m not doing anything.  I’ve been working hard and taking care of myself for a change.  And in February, no matter what else happens, I’m running a half marathon.  IN DISNEY WORLD!!!  And I’ve got a few more things on my list that I plan to accomplish very soon. I’m not just suffering through here, I’m making the most of every day.  And looking back, it hasn’t been a bad way to spend a year. 

I pushed through and I ran.  I didn’t figure anything out.  I didn’t solve anything.  I didn’t even try.  When I got home, I was another hour behind on the long list of things I needed to get done that day and my situation was essentially the same as it was when I left the house.  But somehow, 6 miles later, I felt like I could handle it.  I felt good about my path and the direction I was going.  

I felt hopeful.  

And hopeful is everything.