consistency is key

I’m not a huge fan of New Years’ resolutions, especially the ones that begin, "Stop…[insert "bad" habit here]."  I don’t respond well to negatives, especially restrictions.  But I am ALL about doing things, and I’ve found I’m more inclined to be successful if I give myself something constructive to do, to strive for, to accomplish.  

I am also a compulsive list-maker.  Any given day, I’ve got a list longer than I could ever hope to finish in 24 hours.  Sometimes it’s frustrating, because I really “need” to get all of those things done… yesterday!  Most of the time, I'm realistic enough to know that I won’t get to all of it, but making the list is my best bet to make sure things actually happen at some point.  I’ve made peace with the fact that I’ll probably be working off of Monday’s list when Friday rolls around, and I still won’t finish all of it.  

Looking forward to 2013, I’m making myself yet another list.  Not a list of resolutions, but a list of goals.  Things I plan to do, to strive for, to accomplish.  It’s a fairly long list, and I’m not even done yet.  Some things will just take a few minutes on the right day, others will take some further research and maybe months to accomplish.  I’m not sure if I’ll finish the whole list, but I’m definitely going to try.   

The thing I haven’t decided on yet is the one thing I’ll be doing every day next year.  Last year it was walking at least a mile every day.  It seemed like a small thing, and I really had no idea where doing that one small thing would take me, but it turns out, it was huge.  I realised the significance of committing to doing something every single day, no exceptions, no excuses.  I had no expectations about what I hoped to gain, just the satisfaction of doing it, nothing more.  

What I learned is that there is power in consistency.  Every day might not be magic.  Every day might not be your personal best.  Some days you might not be feeling it.  But you keep showing up, day after day, no matter what obstacles life throws your way.  You start every day with a plan.  If you get thrown off track, you improvise as needed, but you never quit.  You find a way.  Every day you’re one step closer to your goal, even if it’s only a small step.  And every day you honor that commitment you made to yourself, you’re even more likely to follow through with it the next day. 

How about you?  Do you make resolutions or lists?  Is there something you'll commit to doing every day of 2013?  If it’s fitness-related, awesome.  But honestly, ANYthing you can commit to doing every day will bring benefits that will impact every area of your life in some way.  Be realistic, keep it simple.  Choose something that you KNOW you can accomplish, because the consistency will be the challenge, not the act itself.  Let’s face it, almost anyone can walk a mile.  But doing it every single day for a year, that’s where commitment kicks in.  If you can’t think of anything else, how about walking a mile?  

You can do it, believe me!  

day one.

Here’s where I am this week: the house is a wreck, we are behind in school work, nothing is ready for Christmas—no goodies baked, no presents bought much less wrapped, no cards ready… and I’ve had 3 sick kids and stuff going on every night of the week.  Today is the first “free” day I’ve had in a while, so everything needs to happen today!  (and here I sit writing)  

If you are reading this and thinking you want to make a change, feel better, start moving, the day to do that is today.  Not on Monday, not after the holidays, not when life settles down.  Today.  

And I’m not saying you need to start training for a marathon or even start running today.  But do something.  Today.  And tomorrow.  And every day after that.  

When I started this journey, I had no idea I’d eventually decide to train for a half marathon.  When I started this journey, I didn’t even know I was starting it!  I saw a post on Facebook by a friend who had run at least a mile every day last year.  I thought that sounded like a cool thing to do.  So on New Year’s Eve, my daughter and I went out and ran a mile.  It was awful.  We decided NEVER to do that again.  We decided to walk a mile (or more) every day instead.  And we did.  

It started out simply enough.  One mile.  Up to the front of the neighborhood and back is just slightly more than one mile.  It was Christmas break, so it was fun to get out every day.  Then school started back up, and we took my oldest back to college.  We walked our miles on Broadway, Columbus, and 8^th Avenue.  We walked in the cold, and looked forward to summer.  We tried to avoid it, but some days we had to take an umbrella and walk in the rain.  We walked on the busiest of days, sometimes just before we were ready to collapse.  Occasionally, one of us had fallen asleep and had to be wakened to walk.  Our latest walk was 4am after a cast party this summer.  Our rule is, as long as one of us is still awake, it counts as that day’s walk, even if it’s after midnight.

It’s not a killer workout.  It only takes about 20 minutes to walk a mile, maybe a little less if you’re fast.  (We usually are not.)  You probably won’t lose any weight just walking a mile a day.  I didn’t.  I actually gained weight the first 3 months!  But I also gained that habit.  The habit of moving, of doing something every day, of finding a time to walk.  And there is something to be said for being outdoors every single day of the year for 20 minutes.  It makes you look at things differently and appreciate a lot you might be missing.  Sights, sounds, smells… and for me, that time with my kids, which is priceless.  It’ll help you appreciate where you live.  

We posted a photo on Facebook every day.  I’m sure there are those who are tired of looking at us.  Believe me, there are days we’re tired of taking that photo.  I joke that we could have a reality show just based on the nonsense that goes into taking that photo every day.  Arguing, blurry photos, bad hair, and so much silliness!  I recommend it.  It’s fun, and it will keep you honest!  

Go walk a mile.  Find a route that starts at your front door, go about half a mile and turn around.  It couldn’t be any easier.  Like I said, it takes about 20 minutes, so if you’re not sure about the distance, just go walk for about 10 minutes, then walk back.  Drive it in your car later and adjust your distance if need be.  Keep it simple.  Just GO! 

Do it today, and tomorrow and every day after that.  I promise you will notice a change.  Eventually, you’ll probably want to do more.  Maybe run, maybe lift weights, try a yoga class or swim.  But don’t worry about any of that right now.  It’s a busy time of year and you need to set yourself up for success.  And you need to do it now! 

I can’t tell you where your journey will take you, but I can promise you that every day you DO something, you’ll be that much closer to getting there.  You don’t need to wait for the perfect circumstances, you don’t need to join a gym or buy new shoes or map out exactly one mile.  Step out in faith that what you do will be the first step, and it will make a difference.  Maybe you will join a gym, or get some great new shoes…  or maybe, like me, you’ll spend 3 months just walking a mile and realising how great it feels to decide to do something every day and then DO it!  And after that, who knows?  The sky’s the limit.  

It all starts with the first step.  Today is Day One.  

What are you going to do? 

hopeful.

Every day, it seems there’s some kind of obstacle I have to get over, through or around before I can work out.  Lately, I’ve been up against the weather forecast.  Most days it’s my crazy schedule.  Every day, it comes down to mental preparation.  And I’m not talking about preparation for a workout, steeling myself for feats of strength or anything like that.  Most days, I’m talking simple logistics.  

Homeschooling three kids who are actively involved in musical theatre makes for a pretty interesting schedule, and I wasn’t in any kind of exercise habit when I started.  It’s a 20 minute drive to the gym, so I had to find more than 2 hours each day (drive time, hour workout, shower, and drying my hair, which is a whole ordeal unto itself!)  Then there were the details—where did I leave my sneakers?  do I have everything I need?  water, my gym ID, headphones (for listening to the built-in TV on the elliptical), phone (for checking Facebook).  I have forgotten all of these things (except the phone) at least once.  (yes, even my shoes.  I wouldn’t recommend it on a regular basis, but you can get thru and hour on the elliptical in a pair of Toms.)   I learned that they can look me up if I forget my ID, they sell water bottles in the vending machine, and there’s usually decent music playing in the gym if I forget my headphones.    I actually made myself this “chant” to remind myself: “phone, headphones, keys, ID, waterbottle” and got a wallet that will hold my ID, headphones, phone, and a few extra hair ties.  Sounds trivial, but the devil is in the details and the best defense is truly a good offense.  

Last week, I got to a place where I was really struggling.  I usually try to stay focused on the positive, but if I told you all the things that happened in the last month, you’d be horrified.  The thing is, I don’t see it as my place to horrify anyone, so I tend to keep a lot to myself.  I had hit a point where I was just completely overwhelmed with it all.  I was tired of fighting to see the bright side of everything.  I had just lost one of the most influential people in my life, someone who embodied what it was to be an awesome mom, and I was done putting on a brave face. 

I knew it was bad when I wasn’t even looking forward to running.  That was incredibly sad for me, because when it’s a running day, I wake up looking forward to it.  But this running day, I was almost afraid to go.  I really didn’t want to run feeling sad, and I couldn’t seem to make it stop.  Fortunately, I am surrounded by some amazing friends.  This particular day, it was Daniel who managed to make me laugh a little, and, as he always does, shared some encouraging words.  It was just enough to get me to lace up my sneakers.  I can’t say I felt better, but I was determined to run.  

And that run was perfect.  I didn’t think about all that was weighing on me.  I really didn’t want to be sad when I was running.   When I run, I don’t tend to think about my life, anyway.  I like to turn up the music and get lost in the lyrics on my playlist.  And that’s exactly what I did.  The weather was nice, and I was feeling better running at a slower pace (after weeks of working up to running 5 miles, now training for a half marathon, my challenge is to slow down!)  I was comfortable the whole 6 miles, and felt like I could have run a little farther, which is my favorite way to finish.  I even got to see these two sweet girls who live on my running route… twice! (because I run by their house twice).   They are the cutest little girls, the “Sophia Grace & Rosie” of the south!  Any time I run and they’re out, they run their cul de sac with me, laughing and talking the whole way!   

When I finished running, I still had a little way to walk home.  As I walked, I realised something:  life is far from perfect, but I’m OK with that.  I can’t fix everything, and there’s a lot beyond my control.  But it’s not like I’m not doing anything.  I’ve been working hard and taking care of myself for a change.  And in February, no matter what else happens, I’m running a half marathon.  IN DISNEY WORLD!!!  And I’ve got a few more things on my list that I plan to accomplish very soon. I’m not just suffering through here, I’m making the most of every day.  And looking back, it hasn’t been a bad way to spend a year. 

I pushed through and I ran.  I didn’t figure anything out.  I didn’t solve anything.  I didn’t even try.  When I got home, I was another hour behind on the long list of things I needed to get done that day and my situation was essentially the same as it was when I left the house.  But somehow, 6 miles later, I felt like I could handle it.  I felt good about my path and the direction I was going.  

I felt hopeful.  

And hopeful is everything.  

100% chance of a run

when it's cold, I run a little faster

when it's hot & humid, I run a lot better

I do not "run thru" pain

I do not focus on my breathing (at that point, the run would be over)

I run faster when the music's better... sometimes

I often lose track of where I am

I probably have the music up too loud

I might be a little faster on thursday... I might not. 

and next week, I'll run a little farther.

Last night I took a look at the forecast, as I do.  (Slightly weather obsessed… always have been.  Running really brings it out in me.)  Bad news: cold AND rainy.  ALL.  DAY.  LONG. 

I actually LOVE running in the rain, but I have come to detest the cold.  And when it’s cold on a running day, I tend to complain bitterly.  I check the weather—and if I don’t like the forecast, I’ll consult another source. (last night I had 6 tabs up with weather forecasts from different news sites! six!!)   Then I’ll whine some on Facebook.  Usually I am so excited about my running days I’m just about giddy when I wake up in the morning.  When it’s cold, I have trouble getting out of bed. 

But here’s the thing:  yesterday, my friend Jeremy posted about a frustrating morning, including a flat tire, but how he was also remembering feeling his soon-to-be-newborn baby kick for the first time, and who cares about a flat tire anyway, right?  He said that anytime he was about to post something negative, he was going to post something positive instead.  I did think about that as I got ready to complain publicly about the forecast, and I was gonna whine anyway.  And then Jeremy posted about writing in a journal for his son.  Stopped me in my tracks. 

I’m not gonna lie—I still played the little game with myself where I thought about switching my running days around (because the forecast for the REST of the week is perfect!) but my sweet daughter said, “Mom, you’ll be sorry if you do.”  And let me tell you something, if you think it's a great moment in parenting when your kids take your advice, just wait till the day your kids are giving YOU good advice.  There is nothing better!  

So, I got up this morning, and put on some warm running clothes.  It’s amazing what just getting dressed to run does for my motivation.  I can think about running all day, but when I put on those clothes, my whole mindset changes.  It was still cold out—45 degrees!!  We live in the SOUTH for crying out loud! 

Then, I got some more good advice from my friend, Mick.  We’ve never actually met in real life, but we’re in a running group on Facebook.  He said, “I walk outside and tell myself, ‘it’s not that bad.’”  So I did.  It was still pretty stinkin’ cold, but something about saying “it’s not that bad” is very empowering.  Try it.  Say it out loud.  You’ll be amazed, I promise! 

So, I got myself out the front door, which is always the hardest part.  About 10 steps into my run, I’m not thinking about the weather at all, even if it IS cold and rainy!!  I have run in cold rainy weather before and had one of my best days.  I’ve run in a thunderstorm before, and while it’s not something I’d let my kids do, I really enjoyed it.  Came home with 5lbs of soaking wet clothes and sneakers (yes, I weighed them!) but I enjoyed every step.  As another friend, Joshua, from my Facebook group reminded me this morning, “You'll never regret the run you ran, only the run you didn't!”

And that, my friends, is the truth. 

before...

March 31, 2012

I love this photo, for so many reasons.  I hadn’t seen these ladies in quite a while, and I had missed them.  It was the only night all of our schedules aligned (one of us still couldn’t make it) and they surprised me with an early birthday cake!  We enjoyed pizza, drinks, cake and catching up.  It was such a fun night!!

It was also the night I weighed the most I ever weighed in my life.

So, why do I love the photo?  As I said, there are so many reasons.  These are three of my favorite people.  They are strong women I enjoy and admire.  They are also funny as all get out!  We met because our kids were all involved in high school theatre together.  We became friends because… well, because we just did. 

Our kids were mildy amused when we started making plans together without them.  One of them commented to my daughter, “Do you know our moms are making plans to hang out without us?  It’s like Mom Camp or something.”  The name has stuck.  We’ve seen each other thru sending our kids off to college, for some of us our oldest, others the youngest.  We have met at this pizza place to celebrate after shows, and on a couple of occasions, to have a drink after one of us got a(nother) tattoo!  I have enjoyed getting to know each of them, and treasure their friendship.  

I also love that they surprised me.  I love surprises, and I love chocolate cake, so when the surprise IS chocolate cake, that’s everything.  I love that we’re all smiling and that you can see we were having a great time.  I love that they all have beer and I have wine.  (I’m really not a beer drinker.)  I love the top I’m wearing.  I love that Michelle Obama has the same one (in a smaller size, no doubt!)  I love that the candles on the cake say “39” because my friends know that age is just a number.  And I love that, as big as I was, I was happy!  Not “life is perfect” happy, but more “I have all these amazing people in my life” happy… really, truly happy.  Happy with my friends, happy with my situation, however imperfect, and happy with myself.  Because I believe I had to be there that night in order to get to where I am today. 

But what I love most about this photo is what you can’t see -- the person behind the camera, my daughter. She is the most amazing person, full of energy and drive, one of the hardest working people you’ll ever meet.  She knows no fear, only the challenge of going for whatever she wants. On the way home that night, she said, “Let’s go to the gym tomorrow.”  Thinking about the numbers I had seen on the scale that morning, I said, “sure, let’s go!”  And so we went.  It was great.  It felt good to get moving and fun to do it together.  And when we were done, she said, “let’s try and go every day this month.”  And so we did.  Most days we both went, but she is also a dancer and is in classes or teaching classes every night from about 4-9pm, so some nights she couldn’t make it.  But she got me started, and cheered me on so that even if she couldn’t go, I didn’t want to miss.  She inspired me to start working out, and to keep working out.  And eight months later, I’ve lost 48 lbs. and she is still my favorite cheerleader!

It’s still hard for me to look back at old photos and see where I was.  When I started this journey, I didn’t take a “before” picture.  I probably didn’t want to jinx myself.  I never thought about where I’d end up, I was always just looking at the next step.   But when someone asked, I remembered we had taken a photo that night.   I’m really glad this is my “before” photo, no mirror shot of me in unflattering gym clothes with a sad look on my face.  For me, I could have never taken that first step from a place of self-loathing.  I know now, it had to be from a place of happiness, a place of love, and a place where my best cheerleader was right there to capture the moment.  I am grateful for her every day.  

November 24, 2012